An Honest Dose of Reality

Grandpas Birthday

rauluriegas — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 04:30:10 +0000

As I lay down in my bed thinking over my day I think about my grandfathers birthday and I begin to cry. Today is my grandpa’s 75th birthday and I love him more than words can even express. As I arrived I noticed him talking to my dad and his brothers while drinking his beer. While this is not a huge departure from the norm I cant help but notice a certain slump in his day. As I begin to think about why he would be upset the events of the past year and a half rush back into my head. I realize that he is upset because the love of his life is no longer with us to be able to celebrate his birthday. It just pains me to see him suffer so much and then the tears begin to roll down my face. I wish I could go back in time and live my life over not even to change anything. If I could live my life over I would not try to change anything but spending even more time with my grandma and just to hear her and see my grandpa happy again. This pain is a pain that I have never really felt before and I feel as if it had ripped my heart from my chest. I wish I could go back in time and freeze it so that I could spend time with my grandma. My life has for ever been changed by her presence and not a minute goes by that I am not reminded of her. As for tonight I will cry and try to heal but this hole is a hole that cannot be filled. Part of my heart has been taken and it cannot be returned until we meet again.

Grandma,

You were like a mother to me and a safe place that I always knew I would have. Your passing has hurt me so deeply and I don’t think I will ever fully be the same person I was before you left me. All I want to say is that I love and miss you and so does the rest of the family. Please help grandpa coupe and deal with you not being with us. I know you miss us as much as we miss you.

Love Raule.

Filed under: Change, Grandma, Honesty, Love

Blurb

rauluriegas — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 16:44:26 +0000

I felt like i needed to blog today but i have signed in and nothing is popping up in my head. So let me update you all. I am still going to school and working. Yes i am still at GAP and contrary to what people think i don’t hate working there. I get frustrated at times but who doesn’t? Thats life. I am really enjoying my photography class and my geology class but my english class is going to kick my ass. My mom and I are also in the midst of planning our annual summer trip. I probably will think of more to blog about later today but for now this is it. Now i am off to class. PS. My blog has been getting steady hits which means either my writing has suddenly become interesting or someone that i know in my personal life has found my blog. Either way i would just like to welcome you all to An Honest Dose of Reality.

Filed under: Change, Honesty, Internet

Blurb

rauluriegas — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 18:19:43 +0000

I am tired, I don’t know how to change the feelings that I am feeling I just know that I am tired and might need a break.

Filed under: Change, Honesty, Love

School

rauluriegas — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 16:58:22 +0000

As I sit in class and try to pay attention I realize that no matter how hard I apply my self or actually try, I cannot pay attention or pretend to or just even care. I have never really had an interest in school and have always learned in a different way than others. I am just at my wits end. I want to go to art school. I am so confused and don’t know what to do.

Filed under: Change, College, Fame, Honesty, Mother

Blurb

rauluriegas — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 16:27:02 +0000

I keep thinking about when you said that you don’t see your self in our future. I hate that you said that but at the same time if you are not willing to fight to stay in our future then don’t get angry or sad when it occurs. I feel as if I am growing and we are growing and maturing and trying to move on with our lives and not become complacent while you are staying behind and just feeling bad for your self. I don’t know what I am trying to say but I feel like I needed to get it off my chest. So moral of the entry fight for us and life and you will stay in our lives or become complacent and throw pity party’s and you might loose us. We are moving places and want and strive for more while you on the other hand are scared of life. Don’t get angry or sad with this post I just have to be honest with you.

Filed under: Change, Honesty, Love

The Time

rauluriegas — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 07:04:47 +0000

Is now. It is time to stop playing around and take life seriously. I need to grab life by the horns and make it my bitch. I am going to give it my all and i could only hope that i achieve greatness. I know that the road will be a difficult one but it is a road that i am up to try. I am determined to achieve my dreams and i feel that i have the capacity to do so, i just haven’t really tried. That time in my life is over. I am going to stop at nothing to achieve my goals and i don’t care what my mother of family or friends say. I am going to succeed in life.

Filed under: Change, College, Fame, Honesty, Television, Youtube

Youtube

rauluriegas — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 07:29:41 +0000

I have had a very tumultuous past with youtube. I once started my youtube account and became a tiny bit successful on youtube then i got crazy and deleted it because i thought it was dumb but i realized that i am dumb and remade an account. Then once again i deleted it. So i am here to say that i am back to youtube (again). I am STAYING this time. So if bitches are going to talk shit then start talking. In the end watching me and talking about me is FAME. My ultimate goal is to be an entertainer and a famous one at that so you are making me realize my dream.

Check out my channel. Its http://www.youtube.com/ayputaraul

Filed under: Fame, Honesty, Internet, Television, Youtube

Dreams

rauluriegas — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 07:24:04 +0000

My ultimate dream is to be an actor, dancer, and singer. I want to be a triple threat. I know that i have the passion and drive in me to pull it off i just don’t know how to move forward with it. My life is becoming so boring and repetitive that i cannot stand it. I need to put my fear of life aside and commit to my dreams if they are ever going to happen, if not i am just going to sit back and watch life pass me by and all i will ever do is dream. 2011 is going to be a year of risks and triumphs. I must try to become what i want to be. In the end i will either say that i made it and am happy or at least i will be happy in knowing that i gave it my all.

Filed under: Change, Fame, Honesty, Television, Youtube

Blurb

rauluriegas — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 07:14:28 +0000

One thing that has been on my mind lately is our last fight. I thought it was hilarious how you said that seeing me on youtube was so sad. I personally laughed my ass of. I am an entertainer. Pure and simple. I like to entertain people, what i put on my youtube is not meant to be taken seriously. So in closing get over your self. I plan to put my self out in the media and life way more than just youtube. If your “sad” now then wait till the future.

Filed under: Change, Homosexuality, Honesty, Internet, Youtube

School

rauluriegas — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 12:40:10 +0000

So this semester is coming to and end and I have already registered for the next but I still feel as if school is not for me. I am going to continue going because I know that ultimately I need school but I cannot stand going to school. Every fiber of me wants to just give up and leave school but then I think what would come of my life. A degree basically just qualifies me for more possible positions later in life. I hope that I finish my school but I cannot guarantee anything.

Filed under: Change, College, Honesty